Life of sorrow
by Catz-on-wheelz
Summary: What is happiness without sorrow, you want happiness but you must first experience sorrow before you can truly be happy. Can envy ever truly be happy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** warning the stories not for kids, so if you are a kid get out here, if you are an appropriate age please continue reading, and oh yes some more warnings expect to see mpreg, strong language, yaoi and bad writing.

This is my first fan fiction, so please enjoy

PS: if you do not like mpreg or yaoi, don't read simple as that.

_**Chapter 1**_

_Jealously… it's the only emotion I feel…..well except for anger, and jealously is the only emotion I'm supposed to feel. So after what happen on __promised day…ahh I fucking hate human emotion's there so fucking irritating, how did this __happen? That's right. That fucking asshole of a colonel, mustang! And his little bitch Hawkeye had a BBQ and I was the main course… I was burned to a crisp_, I screamed in pain as the colonel's flames engulf my body over and over and he didn't stop until I my body turned to ash, and to my true form. "Please don't kill my please, I don't want to die" I cry well being crushed under his boot. "You don't deserve mercy, you deserve to die" mustang say coldly. "I can't let you kill him" Hawkeye said while pointing a cocked gun at his head. "What are doing Hawkeye" tears were streaming out of my eyes, and then everything became a blur….

Sometime later

I woke finding myself in a glass jar, _where the hell am I, and why am I in a fucking jar._ I was about to try break out the jar, but I heard arguing just outside. "You saw the way envy acted he was fucking terrified of you, and not to mention the fact, he tried to kill himself" Ed screamed at Roy." What does a matter if he was terrified me, and that he tried to kill himself, he was probably trying to make me pity him, so I won't kill him" Roy responded._ "_What the hell are you talking about, I did not try to kill myself" I squeaked out angrily. "Yes you did envy" both Ed and Roy said to envy, "I did not "I squeaked out more angrily than before. "Envy, don't try to say you didn't, because I stopped you from killing yourself" Ed said with a stern face. _ This can't be __fucking__ true, I would remember if I did…. Now that I start to think about it, maybe I did, "_What the hell happened after Roy fried me" I demanded. Envy got surprised looks from Ed and Roy, "me and Hawkeye came and stopped Roy from killing you…. And after that I figured out what you're jealous of…. And when I told you tried to kill yourself out of humiliation" Ed said quietly. All the memories of the day before came rushing back to envy, the blur, the crying, the sorrow, and he started to cry.

**A/N: **I know, I know, people don't like cliffhangers but I couldn't help myself, and oh if you enjoyed Chapter 1 you're going to love Chapter 2 or at least I hope so!

PS: all the chapters are going to be short I'm not good at writing for long periods of time (I'm not a fast writer).


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **hello to anybody who is reading my bad written story, I hope you're enjoying my story, I forgot to mention this before _but the words that are like this is envy thinking._

**Chapter 2**

_Want to die, I want the pain to stop, I want to stop living a lie, I want to have loved ones, people who care about me, people who would help me through hard times, through the pain, through the lie that is my life, I want love, affection from people who love me…. Who could love me, I am the sin envy, one of the most ugliest sin, my true self is ugly, my mind and my appearance…. All I am is a ugly monster who no one can love…. If I kill myself no one would care, if anything they would be happy that I'm dead and even if someone were to stop it wouldn't be out of love it would be out of pity or hatred, but never out of love. All I want now is the pain to stop, I don't care how or why I just want it to stop, the deep pain of sorrow and regret, the only way out is death!_ Envy started to pull out the Redstone that is his heart." What the hell are you doing envy, stop it don't kill yourself" Ed said as he frantically got envy out of the jar and stopping him. Envy eyes were like water fountains, "please let me die" I squeaked out while desperately trying to do get to my philosopher's stone. "Envy why do you want to die so badly" Ed asked in concerned tone of voice, _why won't Edward let me die, all I want is to die, so why is_ _Edward stopping me, he knows I'm a monster, so why, why stop me, why does he care, I never once been nice to him, I would always insults him and beat the crap out of him, and he never once before cared what happened to me, no before he want me to die, for things I've done, the people I kills, tortured, tormented, So why now, why does he care if I die now….. Maybe he loves me even though I'm a monster….. No he doesn't, no one can love me, he probably just pities me, no one can truly love me, all I am is a hideous green monster that destroys people's lives, no one loves me, no one,_" please just let me die, that's all I want, so please let me die" I sobbed out." Envy please just tell me why you want to die so bad, I understand that's what you want, but I don't understand why that's all you want, so please just tell me" Ed asked more concerned than before._ Why, why is he concerned about my well-being?_ "Why do you care, I'm just a monster, no one can love a monster, the only thing that people feel for a monster is pity and hatred, never love" I sobbed. Ed had a shocked look on his face, "I get it now, you feel that nobody will ever love you or even care about your well-being…. Just because you think no one will care about you or what happens to you, doesn't means it's true, just look at me I care what happens to you, I would never turn my back on somebody who was so depressed that they would kill themselves" Ed said quietly, Ed held envy gently in his hands as envy quietly sobbed. "OkayEdward, I'll let him live you just have to keep a close eye and him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Roy said slightly annoyed at the fact he's letting envy live, Ed just gave him a smile and a look of acknowledgment, Ed went back to the room that his brother was staying in.

A couple minutes later

"So brother what's going to happen to envy" Al asked curiously, "well I guess he going to stay with us" Ed responded, Ed and Al just stared at envy trembling body, "at least he's going to keep us busy brother" Al said a bit cheerfully.

About a month later

life at Granny's house was interesting to say the least, everybody had to keep an eye on envy if they didn't he would try slitting his wrist or cut himself, at first they would scold him for trying to hurt himself but that would just make him cry and hurt himself more, so everybody quickly stop scolding him, instead we trying to convince him that we care about him, but he never accepted it…..

Envy walked to Edward's room, "E-Ed can I come in" envy said meekly. "Yeah you can come in" Ed said, envy opened the door and closed behind him, Edward sat on the edge of his bed "what do you want envy, is there something you need" Ed asked concerned. Envy sat right next to Ed " y-yeah there is something I need…. It's your love…. W-will you love me….. I'll kill myself if you don't" envy said while looking into Edwards Gold eyes. Ed was shocked by what envy said, if he said no would be like giving envy a death sentence "I-I love you" Ed said while looking at the ground.

**A/N **I think I might stop writing this story…. Because frankly I'm horrible at writing stories…. Even I think this story not good even though I wrote it, so yeah.


End file.
